Exactly that, WOW, my life was turned upside down just under a week ago.

Most of you will/may have been following my posts or at least my husband, Happy Tremayne’s posts via facebook the past few days.

Personally, I feel that I am pretty incoherent at the moment, so please excuse this post if it seems all over the shop. My thoughts are all over the place.

How is it that a fit generous, loving, caring, genuinely amazing human being can be attacked by this god awful disease , is beyond me. So beyond me that I swear I am walking with my head in the clouds.

I feel writing will help me clear the fogginess or maybe the denial that this is actually happening to us. Well, it is not really happening to ‘us’ though is it, this is happening to my soulmate, the man who sees me, the man who loves me for me, my amazing human, Travis Happy Tremayne!

Checked into A&E

As I read back over the previous paragraphs I realise I have not actually stated what has happened, so lets bring you all up to speed, in my typical point form:

  • Happy has been suffering terrible back pain in his thoratic spine region
  • Finally gets to a doctor, and gets an Xray
  • Xray shows that something might be wrong and a MRI is scheduled
  • In between these tests, hubby, good friends and I head to Isle of Scilly. Poor Happy suffers terribly from the back ache
  • MRI is done
  • Happy meets with doctor, I go to airport to head to Croatia for friends wedding
  • Whilst at doctor he is rushed to the hospital, St Georges A & E; I am off loaded from the plane and spend all day getting to A & E to be with my hubby
  • We discover after a cat scan that Happy’s spinal cord was being compressed by a growth which was attacking his ability to function
  • He was beginning to get shooting sensations down his legs, the neurosurgeon, Mr Matthew Crocker, made the call that Happy was to be operated on immediately.
  • So Happy is admitted to hospital Wednesday afternoon, Friday morning he was operated on
  • This operation saved his legs! He also feels like a new man. He doesn’t slouch even if he wanted to, he feels he can breathe properly for the first time, so many WINS here.
  • The growth they found, is cancerous but not the primary I am afraid!
  • The primary cancer in his lungs. Yes lung cancer. That’s right, my healthy loving amazing 44 year old multiple Ironman and Kona finisher human has FUCKING lung cancer!

This is where I become a space cadet.

Prepared for surgery

We are so over the moon that he can walk. Strangely when the prognosis was being discussed with us, we were like, we are not focused on the cancer, we are more interested in making sure he has use of his legs. We dealt with that and decided to celebrate it over the weekend. So we did.

A day after surgery. Outside, yipeee! I bought in scrabble so we could have a rematch!

Now we face a new fight. The messages of support have been so overwhelming we are often brought to tears reading them. Anytime we discuss with each other, we both end up crying. We are both so truly moved by the support and love coming at us from across the world. Our words of thanks in return will never be enough to show our gratitude.

That is all from me for now, I will write again soon. I haven’t even begun to write how about I am feeling. It will continue to be raw.